It was mid morning as we wove our way
through the murky water 'klongs' or
canals that served as playgrounds and front yards for some of the kids that
were swimming along side us. The sputtering of the engine and the diesel fumes
on our long-tail boat were not so different from the sound and smell of the
modified 3 wheeled motorcycle or 'tuk-tuk'
that had delivered us to the pier 30 minutes earlier. Loud noises and
diesel fumes equaled transportation everywhere in Thailand.
The tour guide
revved the engine and leaking gas, water snakes, and swimming children with
smiling faces waving to us with one hand and treading water with the other were
left in our wake. We floated by houses, women building fires on their front
porches and hanging laundry from strings that hung between awnings and water
trees. We passed men who were too stoned on opium to do anything but stare at
the sky. And then we began to hear the hum. The hum and the hustle of Damnoen Saduak. The floating
market.
The engine suddenly went quiet and we were
drifting on momentum and excitement. My eyes burned and watered a bit from the
toxic smoke but I could see it getting closer.
A large warehouse-like building on stilts surrounded by water and
long-tail boats galore, each filled with their owners wares of the day. We slowly slid into our makeshift slip and we
heard some one yell 'Sawadee, Merikan, Sawadee'. Of course we looked up to see
who was calling to the 'Merikans'. We were surprised to see two young boys,
maybe 14 taking a picture of us in our boat wearing 'Merikan' clothes and a
Thai tan.
I gripped my own camera and
just smiled.
Getting out of a long-tail can be tricky. I'm sure
many a tourist got closer to water snakes and bamboo roots than they ever
wanted to. I'm sure it's why there we're several Thai boys and men ready to
take our hands and pull us to shore.
I was the next to the last person off the
boat and my legs were trying to steady the craft as my uncle made his final
ascent with a large push to the ledge. "Damn, Chris... Tip the thing...
I'm still in here!". Chris and I
were just about to engage in playful family banter when ....
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What
the fuck?!
Chris and I swung around, I clawed my way onto the
bank on hands and knees standing up just in time to see my aunt, who was first
off the boat and already halfway into the market, come running back towards us,
hands in the air and screaming "GET IT AWAY!!!!!!!!
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She grabbed my arm and swung
behind me like she was escaping a schoolboy kiss by rounding the tether ball
poll.
Coming towards us was a man... a man offering us a
python. I found out then.... my aunt
doesn't like snakes. Before I knew it, the man wasn't
just offering just anyone the snake. Since my aunt had so politely declined his
offer, his sites were now on me. Not
only were his sites on me, but so were the first few feet of his python. The
head slithered around the back of my neck, its cold belly like a heavy silk
scarf on my skin. Its muscles contracting and expanding along my side as its
tail wrapped my waist.
I was giggling like a two year old
at the experience and my aunt who was staring at me in sheer horror. I was
having so much fun I didn't notice the snake's owner holding out his hand until
I saw Chris put 5 baht in the palm. Nor
did I have time to think about the other man coming toward me with a
monkey in his arms... it's arms
outstretched toward me. Nope... didn't think about what the repercussions of
holding both a snake and a monkey at the same time would be... at least not at
first.
So now I've got a snakes head by my right cheek, it's
body a little tighter around my waist than before the monkey arrived, and the
monkey in my left arm grabbing my ear and peeking around my face to see what's
on the other side. I think it was about then that I asked our guide to
interpret for me as I spoke to the snake handler....
"Sawadeekha" (traditional Thai greeting with a
slight bow... nervous smile on my face)
"ummm... when was the snake last fed
please?"
The man just laughed. And actually, that may have been comforting
had not at just that moment the monkey decided to grab the snakes throat and
begin shaking it like a baby's rattle. Mind you now the proximity... snakes
head was near the right cheek... the monkey's face was near my left cheek.
Now I have the monkey's own personal puppet show going on inches in front of my
nose. I have big blue eyes. But I don't think they've been any bigger
than they were at that very moment. Giggling was still going on... but now it
was my aunt... laughing at me and my "predicament".
I'm not
sure who was more concerned, the snake's handler or the monkey's handler, or my
uncle who was handing out Bahts like
crazy... but... everyone ended up in there respective corners unharmed... and I
got a picture and an experience of a lifetime.
The rest of the floating market
tour wasn't quite as "eventful" but it was amazing and truly awesome
in its own right. The mid-afternoon sun was hot and sweat dripped
down my chest as I purchased a cold Tsing-Tao beer for the boat ride home. I
paid the smiling woman and followed the rest of the 'Merikans' out the back
door. Just then their was a tap on my
shoulder. I turned and for being surrounded by strangers, his face was somehow
familiar. Before I could even smile or
ask what he wanted, his own lips curled into a big smile and then a porcelain
plate rose up between my face and his.
In the
center of this porcelain plate, edged with red designs and gold on the rim...
was a picture. A picture of my aunt, my uncle, and me arriving at the market a couple of hours
before.
"45 Baht." He said with confidence yet
winking for a barter.
I just grinned and pointed to my
head, "No baht.... memories", I said.
We
both gripped our cameras and smiled.
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