Chicken Wrangler

Well, today was a first. A co-worker came up to me this morning, which in itself is a cautionary act as everyone knows, I can be... well let's say a little less than cheerful in the mornings, to ask me if I would help her catch a chicken. Me, in a Monday morning daze, of course heard this as 'how was your weekend'.  'It was ok', I said. 'Yours'.  She looked at me as if I were totally disconnected from reality...which I am in the morning. "Huh?", she says.  We exchanged the usually 'what the fuck are you talking about' glances that people exchange in these mis-communication moments. "Huh?", I replied back.  "A chicken... will you help me catch a chicken?".  "Sorry, " I said one more time, "HUH?".  Exasperated she slowed her speech waaaaaaaay down to about .25 words per minute so I could understand. "willlllll....... youuuuuuuuu...... helllllllllllllllllp...... meeeee............ caaaatch.........aaaaaaaaaa.......chicken!"



"That's what I thought you said"... I said.  "And why exactly would I be helping you catch a chicken here at work?"  I tried to ask politely, since I had already frustrated her with having to repeat her question several times.  Not really realizing of course that maybe, oh, I don't know, one other person in the office might have done the same thing!



My co-worker goes on to explain that there is a young pullet running around in the courtyard area of our building.  There have been sightings, apparently, of said chicken in the past week or so.  Co-worker who has chickens of her own, and is an EXPERT chicken wrangler, wants to catch the chicken so that it doesn't end up as road kill or some other animal's dinner. "I'm going to send out an email message to everyone in the building to see if it belongs to anyone.", my co-worker says quite matter-of-factly.  "Um... sounds good to me", I said, scratching my head and trying not to laugh.  " .. but I want to catch him now so he doesn't get away again.".



So, the chicken chase was on.



We walked outside to where the young chicken was last seen, and there he was happily pecking at the grass. "THERE HE IS!", Co-worker exclaims!  "yep... there he is", I thought, now what?  Co-worker had it all worked out as to how the capture would happen.  All I had to do was make sure he didn't get past me. Lest I remind you that number 1, it's morning and number 2, I'm still trying to figure out why my day is starting off chasing a chicken.



"ok", I said, still not exactly sure how I was supposed to do that... but "ok".



The next 5 to 10 minutes were spent in a strange "catch-me-if-you-can" suspended reality kind of way with the chicken most definitely having the advantage in this game.  A couple of "oh SHIT!.. I almost had him"... moments cased in "god damn it COME HERE!" moments, and we had little chick chick safe and sound in a cardboard records retention box. I'm still not sure exactly how he got into the box, but the important thing is that he did.



Co-worker walks the chicken filled box, not to be in any way confused with the red and white ones the colonel uses, into our office building.  "you takin' him home", I ask.  "yes" she said, "at lunch time".  Well of course she would... what the hell was I thinking. Any person in their right mind would keep a boxed up chicken in their cubicle until lunch time, again barring the red and white box kind.



So... for the next several hours amidst the chatter of phone conversations and the buzz of the Xerox machine, I would hear a faint "chirp... chirp".  Each time reminding me that in today's economy... It might not be such a bad idea to add 'chicken wrangler' to my resume.